so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
