the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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