She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize