OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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