youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
