You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's always time for handjobs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
