So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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