I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize