people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck me I smell like cheese
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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