whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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