Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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