I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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