...so i touched it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
