Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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