I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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