I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
