i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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