If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So many bounce houses so little time
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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