Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
