Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
