Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
