She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
