Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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