She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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