The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
