I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
