He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
