census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
