whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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