1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
