I understand Curling. That high.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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