you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
