I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
