Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
