i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
