good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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