And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
