he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
