And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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