I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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