false alarm. still invincible.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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