A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
