I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
