Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
