She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
