have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
