Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize