I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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