thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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