so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
