i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
