he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
