Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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