She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize