just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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