I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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