i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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