I bet he comes in French.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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