I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i love accidental penises.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
