I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
