About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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